So finally I have moved to Bangalore, and as I already did mentioned here that we are not in best possible terms with each other. Still intrepid self of yours truly ventured into the enemy territory to wage the war earn a humble living. The stay here has been so far so good, despite efforts of Bangalore to scare me with incessant traffic and horrendous commute times.
I have been more than eager to learn the BANGy ways of living from the wifee and SIL who claim to be the hardcore Bangloreans by heart, and here are my top 5 lessons I have learnt in Bangalore-
1- It takes 45 minutes of discussion to decide where we would be having the evening coffee, and the options sound like the Mochas, and Bochas.
2- Once you have decided the place it takes another hour of brainstorming and discussion to decide what would be the appropriate route to go.
3- If you go from place A to place B by route 1 then it’s a punishable offence to return by the same route, if unaware then an alternative route would be discovered for the love of the holy god.
4- No matter where you live in the city they would change your office to a place so that you need more than 2 hours to commute one way. Yes I learned this the hard way, after being shunted between three offices all equally painful to commute.
5- Air conditioner is an impulse buy product, because if you plan and buy the temperature just drops down to post-pone your purchase for a couple of days resulting the decision to be delayed till sine-die.
So I am finally here, the Mecca of Indian IT, Silicon Valley of India (though they call it so but silicon implants don’t seem to be too common here) trying to settle down. Trying to find a house to live in, incidentally I happened to enquire the rent for a 2 BHK flat here and was adequately informed Rs. 70,000/-. I don’t know why but on my asking with utmost decency “for the entire year?” they let their pit-bull loose to chase me out of the premises. I think the people here are not very used to decency I guess, will try and be abusive from the next time, should work what say people?
Disclaimer: The post is meant to present a satirical view and take a jibe, and this disclaimer is the request for the people who disagree with above not to kill me.
If you remember this old post of mine, where I came up with a list of Oxymoron applicable in the world of business schools, you would know that the time is ripe for version two applicable in corporate.
So here I present 10 oxymoron used in the corporate world-
1- Internet Access
2- Relaxed Working Environment
3- Understanding Boss
4- Executive Director
5- Customer Care
6- Work Life
7- Long Weekend
8- Exciting Monday
9- Friendly Policies
10- Cooperative Administration
Any more additions are welcome in the comments section
This is my first attempt at a 55er, posting it anyway so that I can break the block I am facing in writing new posts. Need your feedback on the 55ers so that I can write better ones in future. So comments and feedback are desperately looked forward to.
And yes for the updates, yeah, I got married, joined a new job and moved to Bangalore. Will post more detailed updates all the areas later till then enjoy this 55er.
He entered the bus and saw her amidst the crowd; he went and stood right ahead of her, his elbows brushing her bosom.
He was enjoying the touch when he felt her hand inside his trouser pockets. He closed his eyes in ecstasy, opening them only to find her gone.
And so was his wallet.
Tags: 55er, Heart Break, Life
As most of my readers would know that I am getting hitched this week, for those who don’t you can visit the details here. Despite my all frivolous attitude towards marriage, I finally found someone who I actually wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
So my wedding this week, and the weather gods, don’t seem to be too pleased with the idea of me getting married. I would like to think that they are not very happy with the idea of my bachelorhood expiring. However, I was also told the reason might be they do not want a trouble maker in the Whyfee’s life.
I am actually scared that there might be chilly cold on my wedding day. Freezing the newly wedded couple to death, I mean there are vows “Till Death Do Us Apart” but the underlying assumption is that the chilly winters would not be the visiting guest in the marriage ceremony. Thankfully our city doesn’t entertains Blizzards and snow storms too much otherwise right now I have been sitting on a wedding like Phoebe Buffet of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Though situations are not much different and I am still having the day of my life like her.
So folks I am signing off for now, will be on a short break from blogging for the obvious reasons. Plan to come back soon. Till then I leave you with some thoughts from a poster I saw in an Odyssey about F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Everything I Know in Life I Learned From F.R.I.E.N.D.S
1. Never use “We were on a break!” as an excuse.
2. Remember it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a big deal.
3. Everybody has a Lobster.
4. Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank.
5. For space in bed, use the “Hug & Roll” technique.
6. Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends.
7. You can do a lot with just cups and ice.
8. Always say the right name at the alter.
9. Powder & lotion will not help remove hot & sticky leather trousers.
10. “Man Bags” aren’t manly.
11. Don’t count “Mississippily” while in a spray tanning booth.
12. “How you doin’?” never fails.
13. If stung by a jellyfish, pee on it.
14. Never let a monkey near a TV remote.
15. Only in prison do they “cup” whilst measuring pants.
16. It’s not Smelly Cat’s fault.
17. Always read make-up letters all the way through, even if they are 18 pages long and FRONT TO BACK.
18. You should leave your synth keyboard in the 80s where it belongs.
19. A nap with your best friend could be the best nap you ever had.
20. Never let it slip to a child that they are in fact adopted.
21. Meat is not an ingredient in trifle.
22. There’s no such thing as “shark porn”.
23. Your first name is not your “family name”.
24. Throwing your own wake is not a good way to meet women.
25. A “Day Of Fun” is a good way to get to know someone.
26. Everyone has an identical hand twin.
27. Eating too much meat can cause “Meat Sweats”.
28. It’s never too late to resurrect The Routine, just don’t change it.
29. Regina Falange and Ken Adams make great false names.
30. It’s possible to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds.
31. When moving a couch upstairs, pivot.
32. A silent auction is not a contest to guess the right price.
33. Always double check your measurements when making an entertainemnt unit.
34. Playing too much on arcade machines can lead to getting The Claw.
35. Ugly, naked, and guy do not make for an attractive combination.
36. Never pose for a VD poster campaign.
37. “Pheebs” is short for Phoebe, it’s not just what we call our friends.
38. Never let a duck & a chick near a foosball table.
39. Wooden spoons & trucks make great massaging tools.
40. Never put your head in a turkey.
41. Taping oven mitts to your hands will prevent you from scratching chicken-pox.
42. Never bet your apartment in a game of “Who Knows Who”.
43. Don’t leave teeth whitening gel on for longer than recommended.
44. W.E.N.U.S. stands for. . . Uhmmm . . . ?
45. Everyone is entitled to a “Freebie” list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with if the oppurtunity arises.
46. There are 7 basic erogenous zones. Start out with a little A 1, 2, a 1, 2, 3, a 3, 4, 5, a 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7……. SEVEN!
Tags: Celebrations, Romance, Shaadi, WhyFee
I was recently saw a video on CNN IBN featuring twitter. I have been using twitter since quite some time and I have my own set of experiences some good some bad. The thing which has kept me on twitter and addicted to it is my good experiences outnumber the bad ones by huge margins. Courtesy twitter, I have had some amazing experiences in the virtual world and I thought that I have got far more to share about my experiences on twitter and my journey on it. As I wrote here that my twitter experience have been enriched by the people I have met. I have started this series called TweetPals where I am going to document my moments (Pal in Hindi) of twitter and my friends (Pals in English, thankfully for the pun) of twitter.
The TweetPals Series #1 undoubtedly goes to @Fraands
In the initial days of tweeting, when twitter was still a very new phenomenon in India. Almost none of the high profile Indian celebs were there, there were some enthusiasts like me who were there vociferously tweeting. Generally despite the conversations being on an open time line on twitter, there are silos are created based on conversations, locations, interests, ethnicity, sports, News and what not. I too had a a set of people I interacted most with, our silo was basically what we can call as YUP (Young Urban Professional) and we had common taste in humor and satire. Primarily the group consisted of @brainstuck @CruciFire @crazytwism @Tweepak @fossiloflife @radha_ @prateekgupta @keeda @rush_me
We used to mark each with @replies when we were talking as a group. Eventually we reached a point that marking all of us consumed more than half of the 140 character limit on twitter, leaving us almost no character space to write anything. This was when @brainstuck came with this brilliant idea of having an id for us. The name of the id was decided when @Rush_me suggested friends @crucifire orkutised it as @fraands and then @tweepak RTed it and finally @brainstuck used it in the id which we could all relate to.
I can still remember the string of conversation/events after which we actually formed the entire @fraands group-
1- @Crucifire was our top contender for a contest called Yaymen organized on twitter. He was tweeting for people to vote for him in the contest.
2- @Crazytwism with his satire jumped in with an Idea that he should be distributing sarees as done by some politician who was in the news.
3- The laugh riot started with @brainstuck started taking case of @crazytwism that he wanted to wear a saree.
4- The conversationw as soon joined in by yours truly, @radha_ where we took to such an extent that the simple saree turned into suhaag ka joda for @crazytwism and @crucifire
5- Then somehow the direction shifted to @Radha_ and who mentioned about her stilettos, which comfortably turned by @brainstuck to Weapons of A** Destruction.
6- The situation was out of control everybody had joined and we actually had no space to name everyone and have our jibe too.
7- It was then @fraands was created.
A lot of things have changed since then, Twitter grew leaps and bounds. The users increased, and with them came the consciousness of too many people watching, it also grew new silos with more specific area of interests. Also a lot of change in companies where twitter got blocked and the bosses joined twitter, that the common leg pulling and satire mellowed down a lot. But still the bonds formed and the moments of tweeting then remain unparalleled in my hearts. All said and done we all tweet, discuss things and still laugh over the jokes often obvious and sometime hidden subtly beneath the tweets.
I must say that was my first and the most remarkable experience on twitter, I can proudly say till date my best on the Virtual Social media experience. 8 people who I have never met in my real life, but know them as if I have been friends with them for ages, I call that the Power of Social Media, my Tweetpals.
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