Prayas slowly sipped on the “Chai”, it was big day today. He was so happy that today everyone around him would feel a little better about him. Life had been a hell hole for him, and things have started changing today.
He still remembered his good old days when everything was beautiful, everyone in the world loved him, his parents were proud of his impeccable grades, his trophies won in singing competitions and almost everything else he did. He was a proud son of his father, the pampered child of his mother, the most reveled company among his friends. It had not ended here, he was the love of the hottest dame in the college Poorva. His life seemed to be perfect, from an eye of an average guy.
Prayas and Poorva had been friends since childhood and before he knew Poorva had him booked for herself, and he was more than happy to be with her. After all she was one of the most important person in his life and was as close to him as his family. He was more than happy to accept her as love of his life at the tender age of fifteen. The stage of life was all set for him, with parents agreeing on their relationship and his gifted brilliant mind made him all the more confident about his life.
He just looked at the bright sun outside and felt the beautiful breeze gushing on his face, and he saw Poorva coming and walking up to his side and his mind got lost in the memories of the day when she turned sixteen. It was a beautiful day, they have been desperately waiting for both of them to turn sixteen, and decided that they would save each other for that day. So finally the day had come, they sneaked on the terrace behind the water tank, he looked at her face she was glowing in anticipation, she slowly spread the covers they had brought and he gently pushed her on it and threw himself on her biting her lips through his mouth slowly. She took his hands in hers and gently guided them inside her T-shirt, It seemed like the softest thing he had ever touched, his mind was racing amidst various thoughts, he couldn’t understand how this can be happening. He dawned back to reality when Poorva pulled off his shorts with the underpants and he could feel her tongue doing wonders to him. He closed his eyes shrugging off all the questions of his mind to enjoy the bliss, which the most beautiful girl he knew was taking him through, thinking of how much she loved him and how much he cared for her. He felt like he was trapped in an ecstasy with one of his foot inside and the other outside. Poorva, till then had decided to have him completely for herself; and she slowly pushed him inside her, experimenting with her inexperienced self. He drained himself out on top of her with the small droplets of rain falling. The water from the rain was actually getting in the eyes, when he came back to present. It had started raining heavily, the bright sunny day was gone behind the dark clouds. He came back inside picking up his cup of “Chai” and sat down on the couch, lot of memories seemed to have made his head feel heavier. Poorva was sitting beside him, smiling and naughty as she always was. He smiled and stroked her cheek, there was no need of speaking anything. He knew she could read his mind, eyes and smile. She slid her hand behind his back, and he could feel her sharp and well manicured nails feeling his crack, a chill shiver ran down his spine. He looked at her face and smiled back responding to her innocent and lovable smile. He felt ashamed that he made her go through this hell, and he cursed himself and the god for playing such a miserable joke on their life. With her hand still behind his back he lost himself in the past.
It was their graduations party, they partied in one of the best discotheques in the city till the late hours in the night. It was too late, when Vikrant said he wanted more drinks. Vikrant was a friend, he had recently met, but there was some unknown bond between two of them, that they gelled like age old buddies. Vikrant was a great guy, he had moved into his college for his last year from a different city. Soon after entering he was the most talked about person of the class, he was one of the most entertaining guy with a good hand at all kind of sports. This made him famous among the guys and his good looks and perfectly chiseled body which was a result of regular gym for years made the girls go gaga over him. Prayas and Vikrant became close buddies as if they were destined to be together, they vouched over their friendship that it could last forever. However little did they knew that even their friendship would not remain so forever.
When callously walking outside the club when Vikrant asked for more drinks, they decided to go to his farmhouse and get sloshed there. The two of them drove back to the farmhouse and he remembered starting over a bottle of Absolut Vodka.
Prayas woke up in with a terrible body ache and a bad hangover. He flexed his muscles to find Vikrant sleeping next to him, on seeing him ran a strange feeling all across his mind. He was shivering, he reached out for his T-Shirt which was thrown carelessly on the floor smelling of the drinks and smoke from last nights party when he saw the stack of clothes lying with his T. He suddenly realized there was something wrong, he didn’t had any clothes on his body. He saw that Vikrant was already awake, and was watching him. He wanted to shout and scream, but somehow the voice had left him. Vikrant broke the awkward silence, he said I am not sure you realize this but we are different from others, a lot different. He shouted, abused him, Vikrant held his hand and embraced him. Prayas could feel his tears flowing through his eyes, but he couldn’t let himself pull away from Vikrant. His mind was going crazy, he uttered there must be something wrong, I think I should go to a doctor. This is not possible, It cannot happen to me.
Vikrant silently said, how normal this was, though not common, but perfectly normal. He added “If you want to see a doctor, go ahead Prayas, but this is not a sickness. This is who you are, your own identity. I know what you are going through and I know what else you will have to go through. I have been there, faced all that, I can tell you its going to be an uphill battle”
Prayas, could still feel his tears rolling down his eyes but his heart was calm as never before. The embarrassment of two guys sitting butt naked in the bed holding hands wasn’t a picturesque site to him but the peace was like never before. He had never been so himself as he was now. This was not as he had planned things in the scheme of things but this was how it was. Destiny had his own ways of playing with people, he was slowly accepting the fact, and he realized what has happened.
He smiled remembering that day when he discovered his true self, his life and love of his life in Vikrant. Sipping the last sip from his “Chai”, he remembered how much of trouble his parents, Poorva had to go through to accept the reality. The most important and difficult was to break the news and wait for them to accept the reality. The only support was Vikrant being there to tell and talk to him. He could himself understand what he was going through. The reactions had varied from extreme rage, denial, and disgust. He had seen his mom & dad having sleepless nights over him. His consoling and explaining with all references from articles on internet didn’t help. He knew her mom was fasting that her son might become all right one day. But he already knew God’s wish and he also knew there was no turning back from here. He thought of finishing of his life to ease the pain of all the people he knew, but always his brain ruled over the thought. He didn’t wanted to waste his life over such a thing, he realized though everything has changed, nothing has changed for him. Life still looked bright, he still was the best student in his class with the most promising career. He still could sing the songs melodiously and now he had someone to look forward in his life. He knew that life would be difficult for him personally, but he couldn’t think of leaving everyone who matttered in his life all alone.
Today was a huge day. The court of law had mandated that he could choose his partner in Vikrant, the law of the country did not think of him a criminal anymore. It was a big day, now he could finally think of living with Vikrant, he told it so excitingly to his parents and surprisingly they seemed happy too. He knew this would be a big step in his life and would bring in more problems in their life. His reality was still a secret which was tightly held between Vikrant, Mom, Dad and Poorva but now everyone in the town would know of it. But he didn’t care after all the law had accepted people like him and after all people follow the law. he was so happy that he would be accepted in reality. His parents would understand him and others like him better and so would everybody else….
He came back to reality when he heard his name being called, he looked up. Poorva was standing in front of him. She was looking more stunning than ever, he saw Mom & Dad coming into the room. He saw mom was silently crying, he was about to asked when she pointed towards Poorva.
Poorva ran her fingers through his hair, her eyes were also moist. He tried to ask, she just silenced him with her finger and handed him the letter. He opened it with trembling hands, and started reading-
I am not sure how to write this letter, but since Mom & Dad could not do this, I am writing this for all three of us. Prayas, you have been the light of our life for so many years. You have been a wonderful son and a best friend and a lot more to all of us.
We don’t know how you became the way you are, but we tried a lot to be with you and let you be what you want to be. Things are fine the way they were, but the step you decided to take today is something which we cannot let you proceed with.
We have tried real hard to come to terms with your reckless lifestyle, but this is going over board. We have had a strong base in this city, people know us and we have a reputation and respect to maintain. We love you but that does not mean that you can go to ruin everything we have created in all these years.
Prayas you have been a very important person in our life, but this embarrassment you are going to bring us by your acts in Public, is something which we cannot go through. We have thought a lot about this and have come to a conclusion that you can not live with us anymore. Its time to say goodbye Prayas, these would be the last time you would hear from us. Bless you for being in our life.
Lots of Love,
Mom, Dad and Poorva”
Prayas tried to speak something; he was speechless as teared rolled down his eyes. He tried to say something but could only produce a choked coughing sound, a thin line of blood trickled down from his mouth.
He looked towards Mom & then Poorva, she said, “We added Poison to your tea, just relax Prayas it would be painless. Don’t worry you will be fine.”
Her words echoed through his head “Don’t worry you will be fine”, He looked towards his mother, who was crying with sign of acceptance, his dad who was serious as ever, he as always knew what was important, and Poorva, who still loved him; perhaps. He closed his eyes wished Vikrant could be here. He wished his parents would have let him have his last few moments of love. But he knew they would never understand.
On 3rd of July india took a giant step forward, legalizing the gay sex in India. Approximately 7% of the world population is GLBT (Gays, Lesbians, BiSexuals and Transgender). India is the 127th country to accept their relationships. (Source)
This story is written as an afterthought after witnessing the kind of fight they had to put for decriminalization, With the law in place we are still a far way behind from getting the GLBT population proper acceptance across the country. Hope god provides us the sanity to respect our fellow human beings as they are.