Guys Don't Cry – Part II

Well as most of you would have read my take on guys & crying here already. Recently Reema wrote back supporting her view point. Well her take is quite interesting. So I am adding a few clarifications and elaborate my point of view.

So let’s first narrow our view only to the emotional tears and Reema’s reason for the guys should actually cry.

1- Well Ancient Greeks Did it- Well firstly I don’t agree that since Ancient Greeks did it so should everyone in the world. Well it would be like saying that Ancient Indians used to burn their women after the death of the husbands and we should keep doing it. Well that’s pointless. Now coming to the second part that why did actually the males in Greece cried. Well the history suggests that Greece is one of the oldest land where male homosexuality in more common words being gay was socially accepted So between men and their relationship there had to be a role player of a woman, which kind of quite indicates about the crying men was a part of society and was accepted culturally.

2- Mangnese Content- Well another point which has been pointed is that Tears help release manganese content out of the body which helps control temperament. Well manganese has a lot of other benefits like formation of hormones which combat infection, assists in the protein build up, helps prevent failing memory and also builds thyroxin for the body. Now one good reason to flush the manganese out of the body?? Anyone?

3- Prolactin – Well supposedly this is something which regulates production in the body. Now coming back to guys crying, if a guy is producing milk through his body the situation is highly abnormal and for most of the reasons will be a disease called galactorrhea and trust me as in all other cases the crying won’t help here either. I am sure you get the point.

4- Emotional Intelligence- Well now let me get this thing clear emotional intelligence has got nothing to do with crying its more about understanding and ability to perceive emotions and use them as a data points and information for effective leadership and decision making. Now a guy who cry on everything doesn’t has more EQ as compared to someone who doesn’t. You know in a similar way that fear of change is an emotion and a person who understands what it is and can use his understanding has more EQ as compared to someone who himself is afraid of change. Similarly in case of crying, a person needs to be able to relate and understand the reason and emotion behind crying, which for most part is grief rather than crying.

5- My Friends say so- Well that is simply not a reason. A lot of my friends have a belief and they would swear by it but one cannot simply generalize it to the entire society. For example, a group of friends who think Marijuana is cool doesn’t reflect the perspective of the entire society and neither makes it correct. So what your friends think is a set of personalized opinion just like I have mine that Guys should not cry. Since we actually friend or connect with likeminded people there is a higher probability of bias in the sample you are conducting the survey with. Definitely you cannot generalize this opinion.

6- Some examples for great men who cried- Well for every great men who cried there would be a 100 others who didn’t. The point is the men were not great because they cried, nor were they respected for this. They are respected for what they are and wh
at they have done in their life.

Now coming back to some tit-bits on my part, I am not saying that it is a sin for guys to cry. My point is that crying does not make them sensitive or caring or good. As a matter of fact, as we have discussed the Sreesanth’s episode of crying, so if I assume that he would be a sensitive guy as many people have suggested, we should look at his statement about a struggling actress that he would not date a struggling actor he would go for a seasoned one. Well if that was really a sensitive guy speaking, I am sorry my definition of sensitivity is all haywire.

There is nothing wrong or right about crying, its not even an emotion. Its an expression of an emotion, and I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways. If at all it can do anything it would portray a weak image of them, when the society and biology expects them to be strong (well if you don’t agree to my biologically part then please before arguing back try and talk to the International Olympics Committee and ask why do they have separate events for male and females) .

5 comments on “Guys Don't Cry – Part II”

  1. Srivats Reply

    As much as I love the way you write and about the interesting Ideas you have, I am sorry to say I find your views very much against sexual equality and prejudiced.

    By calling a man “sissy” because of crying and that degraded his manlyness, itself is very male Chauvinistic.

    As clearly naming one sex weaker or using that over the so called stronger sex’s incompetence (here the emotional stability to withhold from crying) is against very basics of gender equality.

    //”Well the history suggests that Greece is one of the oldest land where male homosexuality in more common words being gay was socially expected. So between men and their relationship there had to be a role player of a woman, which kind of quite indicates about the crying men” //

    oh.. now you are saying anyone who cried during greece days are all gay? So even if stright men who would have cried can be percieved Gay, and does that makes it even worse than being sissy ?

    Let’s not even go about the advantages or disadvantages or science of crying for a second.

    I mean who decides how or why men should or shouldn’t cry? And that makes them closer to weaker sex?
    Irrespective of male, female, gay or transgender – don’t we all feel the rain alike?

    I do agree you have your own views and your right to express it, However It shouldnt be degrading others.

  2. Prats Reply

    @Srivats: Thanks for the appreciation. Couple of points,
    1- There was a mistake in the Greek reference you have quoted. I had used expected instead of accepted changed the meaning. Corrected the error now

    2- You can call me a chauvinist, I would not deny that. But I like to put it as I can relate to both the Traditional and Modern views simultaneously and respect them over my convinience

    3- I never discussed the advantages and disadvantages or science of crying. This post is a reply to a reply of my previous post. Both my post and the reply of it from Reema are linked above. Since she mentioned it, I clarified my take on it.

    4- I never decided on Guys should cry or not I just mentioned it doesn’t make them special. because thats how it all started. Between a discussion between me and Reema.
    I have summarized the whole things as-
    /* There is nothing wrong or right about crying, its not even an emotion. Its an expression of an emotion, and I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways. If at all it can do anything it would portray a weak image of them */

    5- Yes I have my own views and u might be own. But really ask yourself honestly do you think Crying is a positive trait be it in a man or a woman? Does it ever solves anything or it ever can? Has any good has ever happened of crying?
    I don’t know your answers I asked these questions to my self before writing such a post and my answers were against crying hence I genuinely expressed myself.

  3. Meera Reply

    “I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways.”

    I agree too!

    :0)

    M

  4. Srivats Reply

    //@Srivats: Thanks for the appreciation. Couple of points,
    1- There was a mistake in the Greek reference you have quoted. I had used expected instead of accepted changed the meaning. Corrected the error now//
    Well done 🙂

    //2- You can call me a chauvinist, I would not deny that. But I like to put it as I can relate to both the Traditional and Modern views simultaneously and respect them over my convenience. //
    Ha ha ,so you agree to that ? I thought you would write a post to defend you aren’t , LOL 🙂 , but hard to believe a Paulo’s admirer can be like that. Whats Tradition has to do with gender equality is what I don’t get 😛 Gone are the days where manliness and bravery was equated to the number of people and animal a man can kill. And today it would be seen as not even human. And as you yourself has mentioned , just because we followed it thousands of years doesn’t make a thing right and acceptable. I am sure you would understand.

    //3- I never discussed the advantages and disadvantages or science of crying. This post is a reply to a reply of my previous post. Both my post and the reply of it from Reema are linked above. Since she mentioned it, I clarified my take on it.//

    Agreed – I guess both her post and your second post has gone on to different level and into broader subject than the one you originally started.

    //4- I never decided on Guys should cry or not //

    You just did it in the posts 🙂

    // I just mentioned it doesn’t make them special.//

    Agreed, crying doesn’t make anyone special. Although I had to admit, sometimes girls use it as their last defending option to gain (I guess mainly men’s) others attention.

    //* There is nothing wrong or right about crying, its not even an emotion. Its an expression of an emotion, and I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways. If at all it can do anything it would portray a weak image of them *//
    So crying is expression of emotion in special form ? there is nothing special about it ,It just another emotion expressed in tears.Infact in my opinion there is even no need to justify one’s crying or not crying irrespective of sex. You should be the other person to understand whats causing them cry.

    //5- Yes I have my own views and u might be own. But really ask yourself honestly do you think Crying is a positive trait be it in a man or a woman? Does it ever solves anything or it ever can? Has any good has ever happened of crying? I don’t know your answers I asked these questions to my self before writing such a post and my answers were against crying hence I genuinely expressed myself //

    I totally agree with you here, it doesn’t solves anything as such. However its defn not a negative thing, that’s how it was seen before and its high time to change it, Let us accept it has part of human emotion, because it is ( ok I am not talking about excessive expression of anything here – again what is excessive is another debatable topic)

  5. Srivats Reply

    I read a story where a small boy with his parents visits the neighbor, A old man who’s having his wife funeral. When everybody spoke kind words – the boy simply sat on his lap for sometime and came back to parents. When the parents asked what did the boy said to the old man , he replied ” nothing, I just helped him cry “

    It is ok to cry when you feel like crying, and that doesn’t make you/anyone funnier or inferior – Empathizing with anyone in pain is most basic of humanity 🙂 – by calling someone “sissy” by any means doesn’t project a good image of any gender and especially a seasoned Blogger like you.We shouldn’t be denying ours and of others – feelings/emotions or the way we express it ,that’s like denying our self. Gone are the days where men were laughed at if he helps his wife with dishes and clothes. Gone are the days where men/women treated badly for they were different from the way they are “supposed” to be. This is new age, where people like you and me come together with enlightened thoughts and carry the generation to next level, where people are respected for what they are irrespective of age,sexuality,nationality, religion, beliefs,education,money etc.

    Read somewhere and very apt for this time: I object your idea violently, but I would fight to death defending your right to express it 😛

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