Tag Archives: Food

Slim Fit

Before I write this post out, I want to clarify that I am a huge guy. When I say I mean literally huge with 6’3” in height and weight crossing over the century number. It is not that I am not aware of the ill effects of being obese, but over years I have realized one of the toughest things to be accomplished by a person is to lose weight and I have grown an immense respect for people who have managed to lose weight, something I have been trying hard since last few years.

But this post isn’t about being overweight; it is about one of the problems of having a huge body frame. The problem is buying clothes, for one the large sizes are extremely difficult to find. You go to a showroom, ask for a jeans with the waist size of 32 and there are at 50 different pieces will be floated around you to choose from. The moment you utter 40 they take 2-3 pairs and that’s all you get to choose from and the irony you would already have those pairs in your wardrobe.

If that was not all, I believe the sale season is one of the most discriminatory practices in the Indian free market. You hardly find any discounts on the clothes for extra large sized. I went to the Levi’s store which had a tempting buy two get two free sale on jeans. After half an hour long ordeal of trying through all the stock they had in stores for my size I managed to select four pairs (2 of which were almost similar to what I already had), when I went to the billing counter the sales girl tells me “Sir no discount on XXL size”.  There is nothing which infuriates you more when you have wasted your time in the claustrophobic trial room and then finally somebody tells you that you will be paying extra as compared to rest of the world.

As if all these tortures were not enough, the fashion designers the devious of the lot have been conspiring the so called “Healthy” people. Can you believe when you go and ask for a 44 size shirt and a 40 waist jeans and they show you a “Slim Fit”. In what parallel universe a guy with that kind of frame needs a slim fit? A 40 waist slim fit isn’t it an oxymoron? I sometimes wonder what these designers are thinking when they design clothes, you make a shirt of size 44 it means that the chest would be around 48-50 inches. Now by what law of probability will the waist/stomach will be 43, for god’s sake at least make clothes which probabilistically going to sell more.

I think enough of these moronic brands and their designers, it is time to find out the good old tailor who will carefully measure you and make clothes that fit all without being judgmental.

First Girl-Friend Day-24

The credit to this post goes to Ojas. For those who don’t know him, he is the son of a very dear blogger friend Monika. So to set the backdrop, we were discussing about how Ojas is reacting to his school which he started going only last week. She told me, that he likes the school but always wants her to be around.

My reaction was “Wait till he finds a girlfriend in school”, which I am sure he would, given the handsome little dude he is (Ps. Ojas, remember one of the first few people to use handsome & dude in the same line for you was Prats Uncle Bhaiya:-D). Coming back to the point it actually sent me down back in my memory lanes, when I was a kid would and recently started going to school in LKG may be around 3 yrs of age.

I studied in a Catholic convent school till class 4th where sisters used to teach. Thank god, I changed my school after that, otherwise the “important” classroom discussions like “Amrita Ma’am is so hot” would have towed a line of being incest if the Amrita ma’am in question was replaced by Sister Nancy and the b***ard principal would have been b***ard father. However I digress, so the point being the sister decided who would your seat partner be.

My seat partner used to be, a girl names Ruchi. Sadly I don’t remember her last name I am not sure if she was a bully or I was simply trying to impress her. I always used to come home and complain to my mom that she ate a part of my lunchbox, and especially the sweet & sour tamarind chutney, if it was present was completely savored by her. So technically looking she was my first girlfriend.

I don’t know the schools changed, paths changed. I never met her and as of today I don’t even remember what she looked like but then the name and her acts of bullying me for my chutney do leave some smiles on my face. But sure would be interesting to know how she is doing after so many years. Ruchi, If you are reading this please do leave a comment here and Ps. I have stopped eating tamarind chutneys, you know the jar mom brought when she came this month is just an empty jar 😉

So Ojas, remember this advice from this uncle bhaiya, when you make your first girlfriend do ask mommy to note down her complete name and address. So when you grow up you can at least find her of Facebook (or whatever is the social networking thing in your time) and flaunt it to other guys look she was my first girlfriend (I know sounds weird but we guys do get a kick out of discussing the hotness quotients of our ex(‘es))

Coffee – Day 5

I am a huge coffee lover, and I believe that coffee is one of the important aspect of my life. Though I won’t say I am addicted but then a cup of good coffee actually makes my day. Circumstantially coffee has been very closely associated with my life but then my understanding of what all goes into making of my cup of coffee came only when I did a consulting assignment with one of the biggest coffee retailers of the world.

There has been so much already said about coffee, but I love a dialogue from the movie Shaurya which is said about the single malt scotch. However I feel the dialogue is so appropriate for coffee too. “Is Duniya main do hi anubhav sache hai, ek Single Malt aur ek Shaurya”.

I love my coffee pure, not conditioned with the milk or sugar for that matter. My coffee needs to be just rightly brewed and served hot.

So here I say “Is duniya main do hi anubhav sache hai ek shaurya aur doosra single brew black coffee”

How do you like your cup of coffee?

Here I leave you with some of the coffee quotes I have loved-

“Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.” – Turkish proverbs
“I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women; hot and strong” – Eddie Izzard
“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.” -Alex Levine
“Life is just one cup of coffee after another, and don’t look for anything else.” – said to be Bertrand Russell’s last words
“Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself… That is coffee.” – Godot, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

5 Reasons I Don't Celebrate New Years

Well for one lets make this one thing clear, new years party is something which I don’t get very excited about. I hardly go to new years party, actually I prefer to sit quietly inside my room may be reading a book or watching a movie, wrapped in a quilt. It’s not that I have never tried to be the “Hot and Happening” at new years. Actually I have made desperate attempts to enjoy New Year and failed miserably every time, to give up finally. Seems like I simply don’t get the Frikkin spirit of the new year, I am not just not meant to enjoy it. So here yours truly presents the 5 reasons that he hates the new year bashes.
1-No Alcohol Free Parties– Now every time I go out and inquire about a party I wouldn’t mind going to at the new years, there are two common factors in the response to the inquiry. The common factor being, Obnoxiously High Prices, and Unlimited Liquor on the House. Now when you combine the two for a teetotaler like me the party becomes totally useless. I mean actually you think I would pay Rs 5000 per head for some DJ Tamacha playing? And you think I am okay to pay this money because you are offering free liquor to anyone coming? Not Happening.

2-Too Many Jerks on the road drinking and driving– Almost every second person driving on the road is high/drunk/consumed alcohol. The roads are exceptionally unsafe and driving patterns are erratic, given that I am completely sober so stunts like wavering cars on the road seem like dangerous and idiotic.

3-Too Much Checking by Police– Because of the drink and drive cases galore, the police is extremely strict and you are stopped at almost every couple of kms to get checked for alcohol. Now that might be for good, but still reaching anywhere becomes a pain.

4-Jam Packed Places– Almost anywhere you go, restaurants, bars, lounges, everything is jam packed. People and more people everywhere, you have to wait for a seating for hours which you might not get at all. Even if the lords of Murphy don’t strike and you finally got a place, rest assured you would be getting extremely slow service. The dishes might even reach you half cooked or messed. The places which you can vouch for till a day before suddenly turn ugly.

5-The Jinx– You know the old adage goes, the thing you are doing on the new year’s day you keep doing it in huge amounts the entire year. So to ensure I sleep and then sleep some more. Hog on desserts and avoid anything to do remotely with bathing. That’s my ritual for celebrating the New Years.

So these are my reasons, nevertheless keeping the spirit of the new years, I wish all the readers of Ginger & Cardamom who would be celebrating “A Very Happy, Jam Packed With People, Congested With Traffic New Year”. Adieu 2009!!!

Hogging Spree

Out of all the Hyderabad which was tucked cosily in their beds and engulfed in deep sleep. Five brave musketeers went on for an attempt to enhance the food grain crisis in the world and support “The Global Bully’s” (read president Bush) claim that “Indians are eating more food”. Sob Sob!!! for all the poor Americans who were deprived of food because of 5 desi’s. Don’t worry folks we will return the favor, you know the guy who would fix your software yes yes the same low wage Indian guy, Will fix your softwares as cheap labors. Anyways getting US out of A this was how we proceeded for the glorious evening-

2030 hrs: Met Di & Ru
2040 hrs: Cafe Brio- Ordered Iced Mochachino & Cottage Cheese Croissant
2100 hrs: Cafe Brio folks threw all three out as they were about to close.
2110 hrs: Update call J-Knee, Bossty on the way
2130 hrs: J-Knee, Bossty, Ru-Di & Me out of McD deciding where to eat
2140 hrs: J-Knee gets McVeggie & Iced Tea for Ru-Di
2150 hrs: Operation Water started Di & J-Knee finish the Iced Tea
2200 hrs: J-Knee and yours truly add water to Ice Tea and pass it to Ru.
2215 hrs: Place still not decided and J-Knee & Ru buy more Ice Tea.
2230 hrs: Place decided Taj banjara.
2245 hrs: Reach Eat street to kill time for midnight buffet to start
2310 hrs: The guard starts the third degree whistling torture to throw the musketeers out
2320 hrs: The musketeers give up ride back to Taj Banjara
2335 hrs: Midnight Buffet menu pathetic everyone back to square one.
2336 hrs: Phone calls to Novotell, Hotel green park, consideration goes on.
2350 hrs: Ohri’s suggested
2351 hrs: Di gives us a warning that she would talk about how Integral equations for complex number have a direct application in French Manicures & Padicures if Ohris was considered.
2355 hrs: Urs truly to save the disgrace on the likes of Integral Calculus pushes for Novotel
0000 hrs: Eureka happens Ru Calls Taj Deccan & Krishna
0010 hrs: the group settles for Taj deccan & ransacks Taj Deccan
0030 hrs: Buffet Starts
0035 hrs: Initial Prospecting Finish. Starters Start
0050 hrs: Starters phase 1 finsih
0100 hrs: Soup & Starters Phase 2 continues
0105 hrs: J-knee insists on the Taj guys to burn some bread for the soup.
0110 hrs: Urs Truly & J-Knee continued while Bossty &Ru-Di took a break
0115 hrs: Cute gang of Girls entered the hotel
0120 hrs: J-Knee went to check out them chicks on a pretext of walks
0125 hrs: Bossty follows and then Ru-Di ( I am not sure why)
0130 hrs: The girls happen to come to the Restaurant from their room to check out urs truly ( I know it happens with me quite often)
0130 hrs: Starters round 3 & Cut Fruits continued (all the while expert opinions from Bossty & Ru continued on how to eat more without filling the stomach, They have some weird logic abt the permutations and combinations of eating. Like eating watermelon would enhance the digestion cycle and would lead to more space in the stomach. I always thought it added to the roughage)
0150 hrs: Main Course Round starts
0155 hrs: Parallel Desrt processing start
0215 hrs: Desserts round 1 starts
0220 hrs: Dessert round 2 starts, manager ordered to refill the desert section of the buffet now looking like a ransacked battleground.
0220 hrs: urs truly emphasized on the caramel custard and Ru goes after the strawberry mousse ( which was strawberry mousse I am not sure, becaus ewaiter brought something out of the world when asked for the strawberry mouse)
0230 hrs: Manager comes back telling that we have gobbled everything that could be classified as caramel custard and offered some chocolate pastries instead.
0232 hrs: Pastries finished
0233 hrs: Everyone picked up fruits kept for display & decoration and started eating them.
0235 hrs: The terrified staff closed of the buffet and they have submitted a plea of mercy to the CEO of Taj group to stop the Buffets in all Taj Restaurants across the globe.

and the five musketeers struggled to lift their heavy bodies outside the hotel and our Hogging Spree came to an end.

Ps. Ru-Di have been hogging before I met them at Mochas savoring Dutch truffle Shakes & Club Wraps.

I knw Mr. president you are absolutely right!!!!