Tag Archives: Romance

Fifty Shades of Grey: A Review, A Rant and A Drinking Game

I have been reviewing books since a long time and I have a personal policy that I do not bash books and the authors. I believe that a book is a creative work and acknowledge the amount of effort the author has put to bring it to the readers. But then there are some books which command an exception and this includes some amount of rant, with otherwise an honest book review.

Author: E L James 
Publisher: Arrow Books 
Price: 399/-
Pages: 514

Fifty Shades of Grey is a book which is based on the life of a wealthy billionaire and a girl fleshly freshly completing the college. The story revolves around how the two accidently meet up and get attracted to each other. Anastasia, the female protagonists a normal girl in twenties gets awed as she becomes the target of the billionaires attraction and eventually finds herself falling in love with him. The story takes a twisted turn when she realizes that the person she loves is not a normal guy but a kinky sex maniac whose idea of relationship with her is superbly weird. The relationship governed with no disclosure agreements and a contractual obligation of what can sexually be done as a part of their relationship.

The book has a slow plot line but the writer manages capture the minds of the reader with either the clichéd romantic antics of a billionaire brat or the erotic descriptions of the lead pair. The fact that makes this book unique and probably intriguing is the way sexuality and sex are extensively used for the characterization of both the leads of the story.

Overall the book is average writing spiced up with sex. The story pace is slow and continues in two more books which are more difficult to read when the novelty of extensive use of sex in the story wears off. The book might be a good one for people who just want a spicy and breezy read without too much of literature and content.

Summary: An average book with lot of sexual spice, pick it up only if you have nothing better to do.

Rating:  5.5/10

Now I will come back to the ranting. I mean what is wrong with the world for such a lousy piece to make it to a best seller beating so many great books. After reading, it seems like the collective taste in literature across the world have gone down a few notches. There are glaring inconsistencies in the characterizations a girl who is indefinitely pricky about receiving expensive gifts from her boyfriend but in the entire 513 pages there are hardly any instances where she hasn’t wore her roommates’ dress. The best way of reading this book is to play a drinking game with it.

You have to take shot of your drink when any of the following words/phrases appear in the book-

1-      Fuck You Hard

2-      Audi

3-      Epitome of Male Beauty

4-      Mention of “The Contract”

5-      Playroom

6-      Kate’s Dress

7-      Dominant/Submissive

8-      You must eat

So by the time you will be finished with 100 pages you would be drunk enough to be unaffected by the book.

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Love, Friends & A Little Chocolate Cake

I think this commercial totally cuts across the human mindset. I could so much relate to the fact that how we can get so involved with our future aspirations that we always forget to indulge and enjoy the present. The fact that aspirations keep on rising and so does our age; sometimes we find that the time has simply passed and we didn’t even had a glimpse of how it.
Recently I celebrated my 30th birthday, which made me realize that it has been a long time since I have been gracing the mother earth with my esteem presence. I feel that I too have been responsible for trying to run the rat race behind the perfect life. It started from the first position in the class to percentages in the board examinations, lead me to fight for an engineering seat and then an MBA degree. When I thought the fight was over it started all over again for the high paying jobs, better designation, buying a car and a house. And after all that it still continues for a better car, second home, exotic vacations, larger pay checks, and still larger egos. I was wondering is it all that my life has been about? Are these the things which define me, me as an individual as a person? Are these the most significant things in my life?
Surprisingly the answer to all the above questions is a big NO, surprisingly these things are which matter the least. If you have made the right choices and been sincere to what you have done in life, sooner or later all these things fall into the place. What make the life different is how you made the people around you feel, and how the people touched you and your life? The fact that you have felt love and friendship in your life; the feeling where you know with or without the “social perks” you would still be loved and cherished for who you are make all the difference in the world.
I can’t help feeling so blessed and lucky to have felt all of the above in these 30 years. On this birthday, Wifee and my friends planned a surprise where they all will come at 12 in the night to wish me. They meticulously planned almost every detail and people re-arranged their schedule to make it at the right time. Now, being one smart a** that I am, I had already got a whiff and was able to predict almost what was being planned by Wifee & the friends. As soon as they all gathered outside the hall, Wifee had left the door unlatched when everybody dashed in startling me while wishing Happy Birthday. It was such an over whelming moment and a very happy one too. Life is not worth without love & friendship surrounding you to make you feel special.
Though I claimed that it was my instincts and eye for detail that I actually was able to guess they were coming. But one thing which I didn’t confess was that more than the instincts and eye for detail it was my longing and faith in them that helped me do it. I was so sure that neither the Wifee nor my friends would let my birthday go by without making me feel special. I guess it was my anticipation of them as a part of my life and my trust in them, which they not only kept but also pushed it higher than I could have thought, that made me sense their plans.
So there was a bash and a lot of fun, and yes I was not surprised as the Wifee and the friends have expected it. But then sometimes not being surprised can be much more rewarding and comforting than anything else in the world. Having a Wife who would love you beyond you can imagine, having friends who can make a dull evening to a bright sunshine. With pleasures like these life is good and then sometimes we add a little extra chocolate cake to it.

Another Chance

Author: Ahmed Faiyaz
Publisher: Grey Oak
Price: 195/-

Soon after his first book Love Life and All the Jazz, Ahmed has come up with his second book Another Chance. Coming from the same author within a span of a year two books is an achievement but more than that Another Chance is a reflection of the maturity in writing which has been gained by the author since his first book. Where Love, Life and All that Jazz was a perky story about four youngsters; Another Chance is a matured tale of a conflicts in a life of a beautiful women and the complications in her life due to the choices she made in her life.

Another Chance is dark but touching tale of a woman, Ruheen, who by the standards of the society has everything desirable; looks that could kill, couple of guys ready to die or kill for her, good amount of money. The book is a reflection of a choices made by the protagonist Ruheen and the turns her life takes amidst two passionate lovers, a psycho husband and a lot more. The book is a tale of modern love and the conflicts associated with it. The book is a step forward from the era of boy goes to college or work meets a girl and falls in love. The book progresses to high-light the conflicts faced by the modern day love stories; conflicts like troubled marriages and relationships after divorce, miscarriages, break-ups, and work-life balance issues.

The book though is an intriguing story which is hard to put down and scores better when the treatment is considered, although the characters are very strong and extreme which might not hit the chord with the readers. Especially the more conventional or orthodox might find the situations and the plot too over the board. However, the story is a modernistic and urbane tale a portion of it a lot of the generation today might be able to relate it.

Summary: Overall a nice book, fast paced a bit dark but still catchy and gripping.  It would be a nice and catchy book to pick while on travel.

Rating: 3/5

Ps. You can read more about the book here and but the book at Flipkart , Indiaplaza or Landmark.

First Girl-Friend Day-24

The credit to this post goes to Ojas. For those who don’t know him, he is the son of a very dear blogger friend Monika. So to set the backdrop, we were discussing about how Ojas is reacting to his school which he started going only last week. She told me, that he likes the school but always wants her to be around.

My reaction was “Wait till he finds a girlfriend in school”, which I am sure he would, given the handsome little dude he is (Ps. Ojas, remember one of the first few people to use handsome & dude in the same line for you was Prats Uncle Bhaiya:-D). Coming back to the point it actually sent me down back in my memory lanes, when I was a kid would and recently started going to school in LKG may be around 3 yrs of age.

I studied in a Catholic convent school till class 4th where sisters used to teach. Thank god, I changed my school after that, otherwise the “important” classroom discussions like “Amrita Ma’am is so hot” would have towed a line of being incest if the Amrita ma’am in question was replaced by Sister Nancy and the b***ard principal would have been b***ard father. However I digress, so the point being the sister decided who would your seat partner be.

My seat partner used to be, a girl names Ruchi. Sadly I don’t remember her last name I am not sure if she was a bully or I was simply trying to impress her. I always used to come home and complain to my mom that she ate a part of my lunchbox, and especially the sweet & sour tamarind chutney, if it was present was completely savored by her. So technically looking she was my first girlfriend.

I don’t know the schools changed, paths changed. I never met her and as of today I don’t even remember what she looked like but then the name and her acts of bullying me for my chutney do leave some smiles on my face. But sure would be interesting to know how she is doing after so many years. Ruchi, If you are reading this please do leave a comment here and Ps. I have stopped eating tamarind chutneys, you know the jar mom brought when she came this month is just an empty jar 😉

So Ojas, remember this advice from this uncle bhaiya, when you make your first girlfriend do ask mommy to note down her complete name and address. So when you grow up you can at least find her of Facebook (or whatever is the social networking thing in your time) and flaunt it to other guys look she was my first girlfriend (I know sounds weird but we guys do get a kick out of discussing the hotness quotients of our ex(‘es))

Book Review: Love Life & All That Jazz

Author: Ahmed Faiyaz
Publisher: Sanbun Publishers
Price: 150/-

Love Life & All That Jazz (LLATJ) is another book by the new age Indian writers, and to join this club this time is Ahmed Faiyaz. LLATJ is a book which focuses on life of a group of friends and their transition from college kids to professional. Based in the landscape of Mumbai, Ahmed has picked up a tale which a lot of people would relate to of their college days, their close group of friends. It’s a story of strong friendships surviving and flourishing despite the turmoil in life.

The book starts the set-up with Tanveer, Sameer, Vicky, Tania, Naina and Tanaz as characters set up in the crossover from college to professional life. Ahmed has distinctively chosen all characters from a different religious, economical, social and professional backgrounds which actually makes the story of all six different and yet closely intertwined.

The book moves around as these characters progress in life as they move on in life to pursue their professional goals and in search for love, their personal equations with each other and their group dynamic goes for a toss. The plot is bound together on the solid foundation of trust and friendship between Sameer, Tanveer and Vicky.

The book is an easy and fast paced read, the story moves at speed where the reader remains interested as the plot keeps shifting between the lives of all the characters. Though Ahmed has not emphasized on the backdrops and landscapes much but one thing which he has managed surely well is despite his story is written as Tanveer being the central character, he has managed to maintain equal focus and interest in the other characters. The reader is engaged with all the characters and associates with the group of friends instead of a single character, which I believe is the winning point of this book.

Over all this is a simple breezy bollywood style story which ends on a positive note of happy ending or all is well. Characters find their calling in life, both professional and personal, ensures that reader leaves the book on a good and a happy note. This is a first book by Ahmed and seems promising compared to a lot of other new age Indian writers coming off the block. The book doesn’t try and accomplish some great literary feat but leaves you with a gooey warm feeling leaving you remembering your old friends and groups, might even tempt you to make a call to an old friend and relive those old days.

Summary- A nice breezy read which one can finish quickly, while enjoying the portrayal of the fabric of friendship and relationships in the modern Indian context.

Rating- 3.25 / 5

Winters And Wedding

As most of my readers would know that I am getting hitched this week, for those who don’t you can visit the details here. Despite my all frivolous attitude towards marriage, I finally found someone who I actually wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

So my wedding this week, and the weather gods, don’t seem to be too pleased with the idea of me getting married. I would like to think that they are not very happy with the idea of my bachelorhood expiring. However, I was also told the reason might be they do not want a trouble maker in the Whyfee’s life.

I am actually scared that there might be chilly cold on my wedding day. Freezing the newly wedded couple to death, I mean there are vows “Till Death Do Us Apart” but the underlying assumption is that the chilly winters would not be the visiting guest in the marriage ceremony. Thankfully our city doesn’t entertains Blizzards and snow storms too much otherwise right now I have been sitting on a wedding like Phoebe Buffet of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Though situations are not much different and I am still having the day of my life like her.

So folks I am signing off for now, will be on a short break from blogging for the obvious reasons. Plan to come back soon. Till then I leave you with some thoughts from a poster I saw in an Odyssey about F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Everything I Know in Life I Learned From F.R.I.E.N.D.S

1. Never use “We were on a break!” as an excuse.

2. Remember it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a big deal.

3. Everybody has a Lobster.

4. Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank.

5. For space in bed, use the “Hug & Roll” technique.

6. Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends.

7. You can do a lot with just cups and ice.

8. Always say the right name at the alter.

9. Powder & lotion will not help remove hot & sticky leather trousers.

10. “Man Bags” aren’t manly.

11. Don’t count “Mississippily” while in a spray tanning booth.

12. “How you doin’?” never fails.

13. If stung by a jellyfish, pee on it.

14. Never let a monkey near a TV remote.

15. Only in prison do they “cup” whilst measuring pants.

16. It’s not Smelly Cat’s fault.

17. Always read make-up letters all the way through, even if they are 18 pages long and FRONT TO BACK.

18. You should leave your synth keyboard in the 80s where it belongs.

19. A nap with your best friend could be the best nap you ever had.

20. Never let it slip to a child that they are in fact adopted.

21. Meat is not an ingredient in trifle.

22. There’s no such thing as “shark porn”.

23. Your first name is not your “family name”.

24. Throwing your own wake is not a good way to meet women.

25. A “Day Of Fun” is a good way to get to know someone.

26. Everyone has an identical hand twin.

27. Eating too much meat can cause “Meat Sweats”.

28. It’s never too late to resurrect The Routine, just don’t change it.

29. Regina Falange and Ken Adams make great false names.

30. It’s possible to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds.

31. When moving a couch upstairs, pivot.

32. A silent auction is not a contest to guess the right price.

33. Always double check your measurements when making an entertainemnt unit.

34. Playing too much on arcade machines can lead to getting The Claw.

35. Ugly, naked, and guy do not make for an attractive combination.

36. Never pose for a VD poster campaign.

37. “Pheebs” is short for Phoebe, it’s not just what we call our friends.

38. Never let a duck & a chick near a foosball table.

39. Wooden spoons & trucks make great massaging tools.

40. Never put your head in a turkey.

41. Taping oven mitts to your hands will prevent you from scratching chicken-pox.

42. Never bet your apartment in a game of “Who Knows Who”.

43. Don’t leave teeth whitening gel on for longer than recommended.

44. W.E.N.U.S. stands for. . . Uhmmm . . . ?

45. Everyone is entitled to a “Freebie” list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with if the oppurtunity arises.

46. There are 7 basic erogenous zones. Start out with a little A 1, 2, a 1, 2, 3, a 3, 4, 5, a 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7……. SEVEN!

Birthday Blues

I recently celebrated observed my birthday two days ago. Somehow I didn’t feel the enthusiasm as I used to over years, this lack of enthusiasm might have been because of multiple reasons. I actually thought about it and realized that birthdays are a lot more fun when you are a kid, there are loads of presents, party, and people, and did I mention loads of presents?
Somehow when you grow up the enthusiasm for the Birthday fades off. Presents generally loose value as you tend to buy almost everything you desire, except for the secret carnal desires of owning a Rolls Royce Phantom. I know it feels like air pumped into the chest, but let’s not kid ourselves, no we are not getting a Rolls Royce Phantom on our birthday. Not unless we are dating someone from the Ambani clan, but then If I had been dating someone there then firstly I won’t be writing this blogpost and secondly they would have lost their riches by now. So we can all be sure the above possibility ain’t gonna happen.
Left is Party and the people, generally party only leaves a big hole in your pocket. Until now you never bothered it was always dad who paid for the party and the big cake but now as soon as you pay for the party the mobile phone rings with an SMS alert Rs. XXXXX have been debited from your ICICI Bank account for Restaurant Name and you account balance is Rs. XXX. The XXX indicate the quantum as compared to figures. Now the people when you have had a life spread across half a dozen city and friends spread across more than a dozen, generally birthday are left for the wishes at midnight on phone. Which are again frowned upon as the Romantix Taalks on the late night calls with Wifeee /Girlfriend /Fiancée /Girlfriend in Pursuit being interrupted.
More or less I think beyond an age the enthusiasm for the birthday diminishes over time and came up with the below chart. I have a strong feeling that l recently entered in the quadrant two this year. Do you think the chart applies to you too?

Birthday Enthu

Birthday Enthu

Sea Swept By Nora Roberts: A Book Review

Sea Swept By Nora Roberts

Sea Swept By Nora Roberts


Author: Nora Roberts
Publisher: PIATKUS
Price: 257/-

This book was recommended to me by Poonam, when we met in the offline world. She wanted me to read it, and observe how a guy reacts to a book which she categorizes as a chick-lit. Well I did read the book and here is my two cents on the book.

Sea Swept is a part of series which is based in Chesapeake Bay, around 3 brothers Cam, Ethan and Philip, who had a troubled childhood and were adopted by Ray & Stella Quinn and provided a better life. The plot of the book is featured around the death of Ray Quinn in an accident, when he had just adopted another troubled boy Seth.
This part of the series focuses on Cameron or Cam Quinn and his romance with the gradual inclusion of Seth in the Quinn family. Though whole series is focused around all three brothers and the mystery of Ray Quinn’s death, this particular book concludes at the successful romance between Cam & Anna who was the social case worker on Seth’s adoption case.
The flow of the book, is very well done and the author has maintained a consistent sequence of events to engage the reader throughout the books. The descriptions are just right giving the details for an elaborate picture but not overdoing to be a drag or boring. The romance between the two, though main theme of the book is at the back seat for the first half and the plot of the series takes a greater mind space of the reader. However towards the end she has done justice to both the aspects trying to maintain the balance between the two tracks.
The writing style is simple and easy with fair amount of stress on the emotions of the child and the romance. The best part of the book is the engaging writing style of Nora Roberts which doesn’t lets the reader get disengaged from the book. The pace and flow of the story just keep going, she has beautifully used multiple tracks in the story and left some loose ends for the sequel while answering all of the questions relating to Cameron Quinn which is one of the tracks in the story.
Summary: A fiction book with interesting storyline, not much take away but a general time pass read. Can be picked up while travelling or when you want to have a light and quick read. A sweet well paced romantic family story, more of a soap opera kinds, if you like them might as well pick this one.
Rating: For this one 2.75/ 5

An Amorous Antithesis

I got a forwarded mail regarding a competition which appeared in Washington Post, the competition asked for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line.

I am not sure if this competition is genuine but it was a good challenge. So I thought it would be a great idea to try something like this.

This is the poem I came up with-

My darling when I saw you, I fell in love for the first time,
On retrospect that is till date my most horrendous crime.

The beautiful twinkle of your eyes and the tinge of light blue,
The bill of those contacts on my credit card are still due.

Your lovely walk, inviting a thousand glances and riveting stares,
Why do I see walking them going only towards shopping malls & fairs.

Your lovely voice my dear, speaks to my mind and music to my ears,
I am watching cricket, so just be quite and stay clear.

The immense love and special chemistry between us we share,
For heaven’s sake stop scaring me in the nightmares.

Darling you are so beautiful, sensuous, amazing and hot,
I just hope my lies never get caught.

Your face beautiful like moon, body with curves like crescent,
Why you want these sexy dresses, instead try wearing a tent.

We are meant to be together, your love is my life and luck,
Is this my destiny my lord!! What the F**K!!

Are you wondering that how I managed to make this poem rhyme,
Plain joblessness, my sinister self with a lie told in every second line.

————————————————————————————————————-

An Amorous Antithesis

An Amorous Antithesis

Update: This post was selected as Blog Adda’s Spicy Saturday Picks

Short Pants

Late evening when I went in the coffee shop,
Spotted her sitting there; where I daily hogged,
I stopped whistling and singing my song,
Glued my eyes to her pants which were not so long.

I sat on her backside, not literally you pervert
I could hear her conversations in spurts,
With bits I got, she sounded hysterical,
Seemed like she was fighting a problem too diabolical.

She uttered the following words with tears in her eyes,
“Do you know where the solution for my problem lies,
No matter what, I can’t help my ever increasing weight”,
She said while gobbling the chocolate pastry from her plate.

The guy for a second looked at the plate listening to her rants,
And then focused on her legs coming out of the very short pants,
He knew the age old question actually was a huge trap,
One mistake and he is going to end up in crap.

“Darling, my love, you do not have to worry about the weight,
Lovely you look, lets head to the bedroom, it’s getting late,
I will give you special exercises all till your hearts content,
Just wait till I get inside your shorty short pants.”

The lass smiled, I don’t know; for the compliment or the anticipation,
Displaying her gorgeous legs for everyone’s admiration,
She went out; and I resumed my whistling and song,
With my eyes glued to her pants which were not so long.

This is my attempt to write humorous poetry. The context was me and my cousin was sitting in a coffee shop and discussing blogging and the conversation was directed on the topics of blogging, and I was of the view they can be picked from anywhere. So eventually both of us decided to pick on a girl sitting there in strikingly short shorts and write a post on it. This piece is entirely a piece of fiction and figment of my imagination and has no bearing to any kind of reality.