You & I

Now this one is for a competition being organized by my friend. I had self-doubt if I should participate but then I thought I might as well give it a try. So the rules of the contests are as following-

As many poems as possible on uniquely different themes, each beginning with the lines:
‘If you were young, and I, beautiful,
And we chanced to meet on a lonely road’
Characteristics of poems:
– No more than 20 lines
– Not more than one poem on a single theme
– Grammar & usage should be correct (some degree of poetic license allowed- my friend’s discretion)
– Spellings should be correct (some degree of poetic license allowed- my discretion)


I chose the theme as a robbery gone wrong and my entry is as following-

If you were young and I, beautiful
And we chance to meet on a lonely road,
You walking all alone with a bag so full
With me following close to rob your load.

The road stretch was dark and the moment apt
Lonely road, a young woman with a full bag; what a catch,
Lurched into the motion and towards you I leapt,
My hands on your bag and boy I snatched.

Rest of the story doesn’t go as I had planned
My exit idea to snatch run did actually fail,
When I realized my throat and your hand
A sharp push and a jerk I gave for me to bail.

So here was beautiful me who went for the kill
My life, my throat and my chain of real gold,
hanging on a thin thread of your whims and will
saved by a whisker or to the devil my soul was sold.

I ran like no tomorrow leaving behind the bag that was full
And also leaving the gold in my neck; with your grip it flowed,
Then I wonder why you were young and I, beautiful
And why do we chance to meet on a lonely road.

Ps. This is after a long time I am trying a poem with an abab rhyming scheme. Would love to hear your feedback if it actually sounded good and rhymed properly.

12 comments on “You & I”

  1. Mohan Reply

    Nice one!
    May be few more better choice of words would have made it more colorful.. nice twist to the theme though… Keep it up 🙂

    • Prats Reply

      @Mohan: Thank you. I know I could have done better with the description and words but somehow got fixated. Somewhere to wrap it up in 20 lines was a factor.

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