Fifty Shades of Grey: A Review, A Rant and A Drinking Game

I have been reviewing books since a long time and I have a personal policy that I do not bash books and the authors. I believe that a book is a creative work and acknowledge the amount of effort the author has put to bring it to the readers. But then there are some books which command an exception and this includes some amount of rant, with otherwise an honest book review.

Author: E L James 
Publisher: Arrow Books 
Price: 399/-
Pages: 514

Fifty Shades of Grey is a book which is based on the life of a wealthy billionaire and a girl fleshly freshly completing the college. The story revolves around how the two accidently meet up and get attracted to each other. Anastasia, the female protagonists a normal girl in twenties gets awed as she becomes the target of the billionaires attraction and eventually finds herself falling in love with him. The story takes a twisted turn when she realizes that the person she loves is not a normal guy but a kinky sex maniac whose idea of relationship with her is superbly weird. The relationship governed with no disclosure agreements and a contractual obligation of what can sexually be done as a part of their relationship.

The book has a slow plot line but the writer manages capture the minds of the reader with either the clichéd romantic antics of a billionaire brat or the erotic descriptions of the lead pair. The fact that makes this book unique and probably intriguing is the way sexuality and sex are extensively used for the characterization of both the leads of the story.

Overall the book is average writing spiced up with sex. The story pace is slow and continues in two more books which are more difficult to read when the novelty of extensive use of sex in the story wears off. The book might be a good one for people who just want a spicy and breezy read without too much of literature and content.

Summary: An average book with lot of sexual spice, pick it up only if you have nothing better to do.

Rating:  5.5/10

Now I will come back to the ranting. I mean what is wrong with the world for such a lousy piece to make it to a best seller beating so many great books. After reading, it seems like the collective taste in literature across the world have gone down a few notches. There are glaring inconsistencies in the characterizations a girl who is indefinitely pricky about receiving expensive gifts from her boyfriend but in the entire 513 pages there are hardly any instances where she hasn’t wore her roommates’ dress. The best way of reading this book is to play a drinking game with it.

You have to take shot of your drink when any of the following words/phrases appear in the book-

1-      Fuck You Hard

2-      Audi

3-      Epitome of Male Beauty

4-      Mention of “The Contract”

5-      Playroom

6-      Kate’s Dress

7-      Dominant/Submissive

8-      You must eat

So by the time you will be finished with 100 pages you would be drunk enough to be unaffected by the book.

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12 comments on “Fifty Shades of Grey: A Review, A Rant and A Drinking Game”

  1. Deepika Reply

    That is so so so true!!
    A couple of my gal frnds suggested the book to me, and the blind believer I am bought the books (yes all 3 of them) Feels like reading a sex story… I’d be so drunk if I take a shot on all the phrases you’ve pointed out 😛 Read the first two, much to my own horror and then just let it be… The story is too slow… and otherwise its all kinky. Try this, skip a couple of pages and TADA you wouldnt really have missed on anything 😛

  2. Ruchira Reply

    I am surprised you actually reviewed this book Prats ! This book doesn’t even deserve a review ! I agree with you when you say the collective taste in literature has gone down ! Literature is dying a slow agonizing death these days .. we have a lot of people who write but we dont have good writers any more !

    • Prats Reply

      @Ruchira: What can I say, “Guilty as charged”. In my defense the curiosity got better of me.

  3. Shilpa Garg Reply

    This bad!! And it’s on the bestsellers list!! 😐 A friend sent me the e-book for this one (and the other 2 parts too) and just a few days ago, I loaded it on my Tab, to read it while travelling!
    Liked the drinking game while reading it!! 😀 Might as well do that! 😉

  4. Ramesh Reply

    Well said Prats, and totally understand your rant. Ah well; one of the mysteries of consumer behaviour is not being able to predict what will catch a consumer’s mind. Be it books, or be it music or be it goods or services. The human being remains wonderfully unpredictable and may it always be that way,.

    Having said that, that is no reason to read this &^%$#$ book 🙂

    • Prats Reply

      @Ramesh: I agree with your point of view on consumer behavior and that is something we all strive to understand; but having said that I believe that sex is one behavior which brings predictable outcomes of acceptability from masses then be it Silk Smitha, Sunny Leone or 50 Shades of Grey.

  5. Bindu Reply

    After reading the synopsis, decided not to touch this book even with a barge pole. But your drinking game might be a motivation 😉
    I agree, is the world so craving for kinky sex that this has become a phenomenon! You never can understand human mind, I guess

    • Prats Reply

      @Bindu: ROFL at your motivation. I don’t know if the world is so craving or is it just the whims or fantasies which one can’t achieve in real life. The thing they call “Mithya”

  6. Psych Babbler Reply

    5.5? Geez you’re generous. I refuse to read it…not because I’m a prude but because I doubt any self-respecting woman thinks being subjugated and submissive is a good thing. I’ve heard about using this as a drinking game on a few other blogs too 🙂

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